"A fallen leaf is nothing more than summer's way of saying goodbye." I live in Michigan, it is inevitable that the seasons are going to change. However, I am not only talking about the weather, I mean new seasons within ourselves too.
The summer of 2019 was a long but short one. I threw myself into work because I didn't really have a choice, but I also was busying myself with other things. I started a young adults Bible study, I spoke at my first women's conference, I discovered lots of new places, went on many dinner dates, bought my first big girl car, made so many new friends, helped Matt out on the farm, took on new calligraphy projects, etc. I was busy.
God has been teaching me a lot about that specific topic of being busy. I didn't manage my time very well, prioritized the wrong things at times, and so on. I thought that was okay because as long as I was busy, I didn't have to focus on what I was lacking in or what I was missing. While I was busy, I realized that I had put some things on the back burner. School, other friendships, family, and God. I was so focused on other people and serving other people that I was not serving myself. By that I mean, I didn't ever really make myself a priority which is ironic because I am sitting in bed sick. I think this was the cherry on top of God saying that I am burnt out.
I was so focused on pouring into other people and helping other people this summer that I didn't accomplish things that I wanted to get done, that I was poured out and completely empty with nothing left to give to those around me. But you know there is a point where that is okay. I believe that God wouldn't want us to focus so much on serving those around us that we have nothing left to give them. I firmly believe that God believes in rest.
While this summer came with so so so many blessings, I think with the coming of fall it will be a time of rest and reflection for me. So much has changed and so much is changing that it can sometimes be scary even though it is a good thing. It's bittersweet realizing that so much is changing because just as the leaves are dying so many other things will be put to an end too. It's not a bad thing, it just means that those things have served their purpose and it is time to leave them and in the end, it will be so beneficial.
You have to make yourself a priority sometimes because if you don't then you will slowly start to burn out. You can give and give and give, but if you're not getting poured into then you will only be left empty and giving those around you just enough. I don't ever want to give those around me "just enough," because they deserve the best.
So, with this new season, that is what I want to focus on. Me and my personal life. I want to do all of the things that I planned on doing this summer because they still are important to me. I'm not saying that this fall I will be less busy, but I will mindfully dedicate my time to the things and the people that matter the most to me. I don't have room for negativity or for anyone who wants to take take and take from me with nothing to give back in return. There is a balance with serving others and serving yourself and I think that I just need to find what exactly that balance looks like for me. A mental reset if you will.
Don't be afraid to do things for yourself. If it is beneficial to your mental, physical and spiritual health then by all means go for it. We all need a mental reset sometimes, and when better to do it than with the start of a new season?
Happy fall y'all!!
XX,
Just Jenny
